Dear XYZ...

"Dear god send me love. That’s all. Xoxo. Jc"

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 06:03:58 +0100

“Dear god send me love. That’s all. Xoxo. Jc”

- @JuanCubaNation/a>

"Dear drug marketers, No matter how congested I get, Astepro does not sound like something I want to..."

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 05:03:51 +0100

“Dear drug marketers, No matter how congested I get, Astepro does not sound like something I want to shove up my nose. All the best, A.”

- @coquettecutie

"Dear US Air: I cordially request that you go into Chapter 7 as soon as humanly possible, and thereby..."

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 04:03:53 +0100

“Dear US Air: I cordially request that you go into Chapter 7 as soon as humanly possible, and thereby cease to darken our skies. Love, Me”

- @babystew

"Dear Ibuprofen: I desire your analgesia always. But it has been days since we spoke. Please come..."

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 03:02:51 +0100

“Dear Ibuprofen: I desire your analgesia always. But it has been days since we spoke. Please come back. I cannot bear my day without you.”

- @mgbales

"Dear Lady at Work, Please refrain from your use of camel-toe in the workplace. It is causing nausia..."

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 02:02:50 +0100

“Dear Lady at Work, Please refrain from your use of camel-toe in the workplace. It is causing nausia and has been deemed unsafe. Thank You”

- @GPappalardo

"dear amazon - thanks for letting me down…"

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 01:02:49 +0100

“dear amazon - thanks for letting me down…”

- @seanbohan

"Dear universe, I would really like a new job."

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 00:02:51 +0100

“Dear universe, I would really like a new job.”

- @splendorly

"Dear Amazon: You may not charge me for extra shipments, but my asstastic courier service does, and..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 23:02:50 +0100

“Dear Amazon: You may not charge me for extra shipments, but my asstastic courier service does, and dearly. Please stop it.”

- @betobeto

"Dear Apple, I know you hate M$ but do you think you could not do a pop under when you’re..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 22:01:50 +0100

“Dear Apple, I know you hate M$ but do you think you could not do a pop under when you’re warning me about important stuff in itunes?”

- @dumbwhore

"dear god. hi. please let me get the job at the adidas store. because i really need a job. and i will..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 20:59:48 +0100

“dear god. hi. please let me get the job at the adidas store. because i really need a job. and i will sell the shit out of adidas stuff. amen”

- @ambsace

"Dear Frontier Airlines: Whichever animal gives shitty service and loses bags, you should totally put..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:57:25 +0100

“Dear Frontier Airlines: Whichever animal gives shitty service and loses bags, you should totally put that icon on the tail of your planes.”

- @thestew

"Dear Gillette: I loathe your commercial for the Quatro Razor w/personal trimmer. Your allusion to..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:37:30 +0100

“Dear Gillette: I loathe your commercial for the Quatro Razor w/personal trimmer. Your allusion to “bush trimming” was glaringly misogynist”

- @aileen2u2

"Dear Ovaries, Just because we are gorging on pictures of our friend’s new baby doesn’t..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:34:45 +0100

“Dear Ovaries, Just because we are gorging on pictures of our friend’s new baby doesn’t mean we’ll be having one of our own any time soon.”

- @ehrow

"Dear God, please let me find a job that pays me at least 30k a year and gives me health insurance...."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:32:35 +0100

“Dear God, please let me find a job that pays me at least 30k a year and gives me health insurance. And please let it be in MT. Kthx.”

- @RyanJBlake

"Dear CARROLTON, KENTUCKY, why do you think it’s okay to let your Chevron employees smoke..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:29:20 +0100

“Dear CARROLTON, KENTUCKY, why do you think it’s okay to let your Chevron employees smoke INSIDE THE GAS STATION?”

- @JalynnCleaver

"Dear @nytimes: I don’t want to switch to your global edition. Please stop asking me, or at..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:24:24 +0100

“Dear @nytimes: I don’t want to switch to your global edition. Please stop asking me, or at least allow me to tell you that I don’t want it.”

- @kevinmeyers

"Dear Google: We used to be tight. Then u spelled Scott Baio’s name wrong and confused me. I..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:23:47 +0100

“Dear Google: We used to be tight. Then u spelled Scott Baio’s name wrong and confused me. I feel like I don’t know u anymore. Love, Chelsea.”

- @FooFoo_McKinley

"Dear myspace, why would I want to take a Metro Station quiz?"

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:23:07 +0100

“Dear myspace, why would I want to take a Metro Station quiz?”

- @afavoritemelody

"Dear help desk person, please tell me your title next time you call me, instead of “Julio,..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:22:13 +0100

“Dear help desk person, please tell me your title next time you call me, instead of “Julio, this is Jesus … silence … “”

- @SocialJulio

"Dear Microsoft Entourage, I realize you juggle many tasks, but you really need to work a little..."

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:21:30 +0100

“Dear Microsoft Entourage, I realize you juggle many tasks, but you really need to work a little faster or we may have to replace you.”

- @rosecs